I know I still need to work on the side effects post, however, I need to address cancer and put some things down in writing.
Cancer has taken away my uterus and therefore took away my ability to have children. I will never know what it is like to birth a child, or raise a child. I mourned this years ago, but the pain still hurts. I SO wanted to be a mommy. Thank you, Cancer.
Cancer has taken away my hair, 5 times I have lost my hair during to chemotherapy. Right now my hair is super thin and honestly, I’d rather it all fall out then my hair be so stinkin thin! I always had very thick hair. I don’t know what my new normal is yet as I am still in treatment.
Cancer has made me more aware of my body. This could be good but it’s not. I get a twinge of pain in a limb and I’m looking up the side effects for all my cancer drugs. My shoulders hurt, is that a side effect? My eyes are extra blurry, is that a side effect? The answer to both is Yes.
Cancer has made me move from my glorious bedroom upstairs to sleep and live in a downstairs bedroom (it’s more like a small office) because doing stairs is not something I want to do (sometimes I can’t physically do the stairs) and it is closest to the bathroom and the kitchen is not too far away.
Cancer has taken away my social life. I didn’t really have a social life, but now I totally do not leave home unless I have an appointment. I have missed many a family function due to not feeling well.
And finally for this blog post at least, Cancer has taken away my livelihood. I exhausted my Short Term Disability at work and had to go out on Long Term Disability. I cannot do my job with these side effects., When I post about my side effects it may make more sense.
Dear Cancer…you suck big time!!! And I am tired of you.
Till next time…..Heidi